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Writer's pictureMark Sheldan

Veggies


Acrylic on Canvas by Mark Sheldan

It's time to tickle your funny bone, wishbone and other places. This week, we're giving you bluegrass for foodies with sexual innuendos that turn vegetables into body parts. Smokeywine soaked the beans in tomato sauce with this fast and furious ditty that morphs true events into song. (Smokeywine.com) Just over a minute long, it comes in two flavours: Adult and PG. 'Veggies' is about - you guessed it - Mark meeting a vegetarian at the planetarium. The rest is imagination. The surprises in this story may astound the food critics in the room.


Behold the richness of our spoils; photos of our garden in Port Coquitlam. It's all designed to make your mouths water. We planted broccoli for the first time this year and it is spectacular! There's nothing like going outside to gather food for your supper. I have a pea break, take a leek and have a berry good time out there. As a human bean who lives in Beautiful BC I deserve all the pleasures a veggie farm can offer.

Eleven years ago, I introduced this song to the world as my first youtube post. The remastered version is better but I thought I'd show you this for giggles. Try not to blink cuz it goes by quickly. So fast, in fact, that you can listen to all three versions in less than 4 minutes. LOL. If you ever thought that your beet could be so neat, your yam could be so grand or your squash could be so posh, then this is the corny song for you! Lea does some barbershop type harmonies to add to the fun in this flatpicking, acoustic composition. (leasheldan.com) People eat this song up like it was a fine preserve; it's still fresh even after many years, so we popped it open and made it into a new dish that we served up on our Toybox Tunes album. (toyboxtunes.com) Thank you and welcome to my new listeners in Pasong Tamo - Philippines, Wellington - New Zealand, Florissant - Missouri and Stockport - United Kingdom. It's been a blessing to have slipped out of my dressing for you all. Until next time, remember to always eat your veggies and keep supporting homegrown music and local artists. Mark Sheldan.



To listen to 'Veggies' (adult version and PG version) right now, click here:

https://twistedgitarco.wixsite.com/marksheldan/my-songs

To hear Lea Sheldan's new release, click here:

https://twistedgitarco.wixsite.com/leasheldan-1/songs

If you have Spotify, please download here:

https://open.spotify.com/album/2tdzRQwZE1bd7R2RjsFNMy?si=aql6SUGQTSS4oewaZx3Vbg


Sing along to the words below:


Veggies (Adult Version)


Down at the planetarium I met a vegetarian

The sight of her made my Brussels sprout

She had pretty little black-eyed peas and perfect avocados

With radishes that jiggled all about


She nibbled on my broccoli

She turned beet red and said to me

When we’re spinached lettuce pickle your celery

My carrot leeked, my artichoked

So I yammed it up with a corny joke

That night she lost her cauliflower to me


Her name was Olive, her name was Olive

Though her complexion was cucumber green

It was almost like a blessing when she slipped out of her dressing

‘Cause she was preserved the best I’ve ever seen


written by Mark Sheldan

copyright 1991 Socan



Veggies (Toybox Tunes Version)

Down at the planetarium I met a vegetarian

She offered me a bag of brussels sprouts

We ate pretty little black-eyed peas and perfect avocados

And radishes that jiggled all about


We nibbled on some broccoli, she turned beet red and said to me

When we’re spinached lettuce pickle that celery

The carrot leeked, the artichoked, so I yammed it up with a corny joke

That night we drank some cauliflower tea


Her name was Olive, her name was Olive

Though her complexion was cucumber green

Because we ate potatoes and onions and tomatoes

We are preserved the best we’ve ever bean


written by Mark Sheldan

copyright 2019 Socan



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